Friday, September 08, 2006

The Opener

I love beginnings.

If I played baseball, I'd be a starting pitcher. I am sooooo good in the early phases of things. I have boundless energy and ideas and enthusiasm and I dig in with a will. The world is my oyster when I'm starting something. I become an awesome vortex of productivity and passion.

I hate endings.

Somewhere around the 7th inning, instead of stretching, I just want to take my ball and go home. This is where the Procrastinatrix comes in. I am horrible at finishing things. Projects, classes, hobbies, relationships... it's all the same. All my motivation seems to get sucked dry about three-quarters of the way through anything. I really don't have any insight into why I am this way, I just know that it's the way I am and have always been. I will put off finishing anything until the last possible moment. Packing for a trip, writing the conclusion for a paper... only the imminent threat of the deadline can get my ass into gear.

I think one of the reasons I'm feeling so ambivalent at the moment is that I'm experiencing a beginning and an ending all at the same time. Everything is changing all at once. I'm eager to get started on my new life, but I'm dragging my feet about saying goodbye to my old one.

Fortunately time has a way of moving on, with or without my input on the matter. :)

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